Stephanie Part One

It all started around September 8^th or at least that week…the first week of school and it was in the first few hours of my senior year… I was so looking forward to all the fun that this year would bring. Nothing much ever happens in those early days of the school year except getting accustomed to the new classes and finding them if it is still the first day. It was a somewhat cool day which was unusual for September in Costa Mesa…we usually were in the midst of the Santana winds which makes it hellishly hot. Fortunately, those had not yet begun. The point of this story is that this morning I met a girl who still haunts me and always will… I later on learned her name and it was as magical as I had hoped… Stephanie Anne Shumate. She had moved down that summer with her mom and dad and two sisters from Danville, California up near San Francisco. She went to San Ramon Valley High School in the shadow of Mount Diablo…very ominous… Devil Mountain!!!! I spotted her very early before classes began that morning. She was in a group of people that I was very good friends with so seeing her and my friends in animated conversation I had to saunter over (I doubt that I did do any sauntering but it sounds good!) and stood next to a friend and cast my view on pure loveliness. 

Stephanie’s school photo from September

… taken just a couple weeks after I saw her the first time…fabulous!!!!!. 

She was born in July.. Just thought I would toss that in! So that made her a baby junior in school…meaning she would not be 17 until after the school year had passed entirely.I was mesmerized by her and her telling her story that had everyone so interested. She had a soft warm low voice that belied her obvious youth. She was talking under the part of school that was the open area for checking in at the office windows when you were late. It was like a huge carport with the second floor above acting as the roof. It was a good spot to stand when it was raining and since it was a cool autumn day everyone was wearing light jackets as I walked up. She was explaining to someone asked why she had a dark area and a mouse under her eye. It looked like she had been in a boxing match and had been punched there. She explained that she and her sister Sandy were having a fight and Sandy threw a book at her and she just didn’t duck far enough. I was spellbound of course and I never took my eyes from her until the bell rang for first period. I suppose it was only for 15 minutes at the most. I later asked Bill Dunn (who was the friend I had come to stand next to there in that group) if he knew her and he said she was in his Chemistry class. It was the first time in my life that I wish I had taken Chemistry. It was probably good I wasn’t in her class… I would have been jealous of any guy that was her lab partner and I would have made a total fool of myself had I been that fortunate soul. She was a tall (5’9”) blonde with long straight hair with dazzling blue eyes and a nice trim figure. I was absolutely in love, but I was still very shy and a partial dork. So I didn’t talk to her that day … I did make eye contact and that was good enough for me at the moment. I never did talk to her again until June or late May… Oh, I saw her often from afar and I once in a while wandered over by Bill’s class to see him and hopefully catch a glance of her as she left for her next study period. It was encouraging to see that no guys escorted her from class to class…that meant I had at least a chance.

This is Stephanie in her HiFliers Club for taller girls.

So we get to the end of the school year and my girl friend at that particular moment, Terri Weedy had backed out on an important date (Gradnite at Disneyland) and I needed a replacement. Terri was only just fourteen and a freshman (she was born in November …so she was a baby freshman! Maybe it’s that baby thing that gets me) and her parents were reluctant to have their baby spent the night with an 18 year old even if it was at a totally chaperoned date at Disneyland. I was stung and I tried to get her parents to change their minds but it was to no avail at all. So here I was getting ready for the best date possibility of my senior year and I had no date to possibility with. 

This is my favorite photo of Stephanie …she loved sweaters …so

did I…and I worked so hard to get it in the yearbook and then they put a bad caption on it so I never told her it was my doing or fault.

It said…”I can’t understand it…I rolled it so tight last night!!”

I talked and talked to John Anthes to get a copy of this too! I got one but then they add that caption

……Arggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!

Rick’s mom decided to take care of it and she asked Marianne Tankersley if she would go should she get a chance to ask me. Marianne was all for it...she would be nearer her knight in shining armor….Rick! I heard about that and I was definitely not ok with that idea at all. So I grew desperate and since I knew I would never ever get the chance again in this lifetime I decided to risk my reputation and heart and whatever else and call Stephanie. I knew approximately where she lived in Mesa Verde (why I knew that I have forgotten… I must have asked around) and looked up the last name Shumate…her dad Norris being listed thank God!!! So with shaking paws I dialed and she herself answered the phone… panic struck and it took a couple seconds before I croaked or squeaked out a hello but we talked a moment or two and she of course had no idea who I was I assume! She had to be amused that some idiot boy would call her out of the blue. Having gone that far now I knew I could do it so I popped the question and I asked her to go with me. My poor heart was beating so hard I bet my voice even sounded like it was throbbing. She agreed without being sure at all who I was. She must have looked in the yearbook while we spoke (we had just got them that week) and decided that I was normal… little did she know!!!!But the next night she called me back and said we had to meet first and get to know each other. That both scared and pleased me but it was more than fine with me … I get more time to be near her. I guess she needed that huge roadblock and a test to see how badly I really wanted to go out with her. I am not sure… no girl before or since has ever had me do a test like that. The test was for our first meeting we should all get together as a group…all her thousands of girl friends and my small group of select but terrorized by girls… friends of mine. Actually the numbers were closer than that but when she called and told me to find dates for her friends I was panic stricken. Had it not been a girl I worshiped the whole year from a good distance I would of course told her there is no way I will put any friend of mine through that kind of idea. So, I was scrambling like mad to get some friends to come down to the beach with us. I got Bill Dunn, John Forgie, (God, what great buddies they were to do this for me!) and their brothers and a couple other guys who were just as flummoxed by girls as they were! But I begged and begged and even offered to pay them all and finally they agreed to come and keep the other girls company. These other girls were muy caliente as well so that may have caused the guys consternation as well.

I proposed we all meet at my grandmother’s beach cottage on 24^th Street…very small and cramped so maybe I could get Stephanie to walk a bit with me. We got there and then I actually did get to take a walk with Stephanie along the beach. We walked from the street where my grandmother lived down the sidewalks…called a boardwalk even though not a scrap of lumber was involved… to the pier and out on the pier and then very slowly back. On the way back some drunken lout was weaving down the sidewalk towards 

us. I felt very protective towards Stephanie so I pulled her around to the safer side away from him. He came up to me and was semi-coherent asking where we were going. I talked to him as calmly as I could since I wasn’t very sure of things…and I was an 18 year old kid trying to impress a 16 year old goddess. He did calm down and went on his way but Stephanie was directly behind me with her hands around my arms peering at him over my shoulder. This made the whole thing more than worthwhile and I did feel very good about being protective towards her…it was better than running off just ‘cuz the guy looked weird. We continued on back and she just was very sweet to me and it was just wonderful, for me anyway. Anyway she was not turned off so much to say she couldn’t go so I must have been at least better than a slug! We talked on the phone regularly until the time to go on Thursday June 17^th…the day I graduated from high school.

Stephanie Part Two

Gradnite is one of the most important dates for a senior in Southern California high schools if your high school happens to do this of course. Not all of them did as it was a bit expensive but I always thought it was worth it. The Prom may be as important but I preferred Gradnite. Gradnite is from 10 PM until 8 AM the day you graduate or very soon after. Only about fifteen or so  high schools go each night so it is not crowded at all and the lines for rides are very short. I picked up Stephanie in the old 1956 Blue Pontiac Convertible…the best Drive-In Movie car ever built…and then went to get my mom and grandmother so they could have the car overnight. The school didn’t want a lot full of cars! Then we all packed onto a school bus… Rick and his date and future first wife Janis Minke were also there and sat in the seat in front of us.

Stephanie’s senior picture taken in September of her senior year…the most beautiful 17 year old girl I ever met from Danville.J

Stephanie was wearing a black knee length sheath dress and a light sweater. I had some suit of mine on since Gradnite required ties and jackets for the boys. We did a few rides and talked all night danced close and for me it was the perfect night! We even got photos taken of us as a couple in Frontierland. (When I got married Janice destroyed any pictures I had of any other girl I ever dated… so I no longer have anything from then).

This picture from Gradnite is a copy of Stef’s sent by her sister Sandy. She was wearing down by the time we were heading back to the bus but we both really got along just great and we did a lot there and ate well. I fell for her totally but I had to leave soon after graduation for training at Fort Ord. I was sad that I would not get a chance to see her for over 6 months. But that night was magic and I still think it was the sweetest date I ever had for a myriad of reasons. When we returned from Gradnite mom was waiting in the parking lot and I drove her home so I could take the car to take Stephanie home in a little privacy. We drove up to her home and then I pulled into the driveway as she asked and she sat with me in the car as we talked about a few trivial things. She would look up at me on occasion smile and gently close her eyes and listen to me talk. I must have been boring her to tears! After a while she dreamily looked up, smiled, and asked if I wanted to kiss her. Of course I did (Wow! I don’t have to be asked more than once) and we did right there. She has the softest lips I have ever experienced, she never tried to end the kiss and I only broke it off since we were out in front of her house and I was one of those “decent” boys and I didn’t want her neighbors to think badly of her (or me). We did it once more for nearly as long. It is still the best two kisses I have ever experienced in my life by far. It is emblazoned into my brain cells forever. I think a full half of my brain has been taken up with that memory. After that was over and my heart was beating somewhat normal she invited me in for breakfast and she made a very nice one. I even sat with her dad, Norris and he seemed very nice and we talked while Steph cooked. She made bacon and eggs for both of us and I had visions of this being all I could ever want in life. I did get to come over to her house a few times after that, but we were never alone again. She usually had her cadre of girl friends there, Pam McRoberts, Julie Kaneaster, and JoAnn Kirby among others…all wonderful girls too. One time it was to watch Joe Pyne and I think I was there to debate the girls in points of view or something. I never understood where I stood with her and I guess that was also part of the scheme of things with her.Not too long after this I went to go to Fort Ord and she had agreed to write with me while I was there until I came back. Letters were always nice in training since it was extremely lonely being far from friends. 

 (L)Here I am at Fort Ord when I was writing to Stef.

She would write things about her family and her girl friends and tell me things that to me seemed inconsequential to me… I was really lonely and actually wanted something a bit more girlfriend like even though we were not that far along at all… I stuck my foot in my mouth and told her so which angered her enough that she told me she didn’t want to write if I was going to be like that. I agreed and we stopped writing altogether. I was more than sad to say the least and it was totally my fault that this died on the vine. I just gave up on the idea of her and me as a couple. Well over 8 months later after basic and advanced infantry training also at Fort Ord I was able to come home. I had been built up like mad from the 137 pounder when I went in to around 175 pounds of solid muscle… I grew from 5’10 to my current height of 6”1 ½” while there with the good food and constant physical training.

I did see her in that next year at the Edwards Cinema where she worked.Shown here. She even came to sit with my brother Jeff and me to talk a bit and she did this a couple of times, but I just didn’t have it in me to call her. I was scared that I had hurt her and I was scared that I would be hurt too. Then I totally lost touch with her and have not seen her since. I still of course wish I could see her once more. The girls before her were all very nice, but Stephanie ruined me for the type I had been dating. Stephanie was just the total princess and I was the bumbling peon trying to impress her enough to come down in class and run off to never-never land with me. Years and years later I found from Pat Bourgeois that she lives in Chicago and I sent her a Christmas card each year but she has never once responded in any way. So I guess my memories are better than hers! Mine always seem to be better than that of the people I am recalling.

The Powder Puff Football game and Steph played for the seniors that year shown with green highlights… She is number 64 and circled …unfortunately she had turned as the picture was snapped so all we have is her wonderful hair. 

On October 15, 2005, I got the goofy idea of looking up her old high school and wrote at random to one of the school secretaries. I got Karen Bottarini and she was wonderful. She searched the El Lobo yearbooks for the two years that Stephanie was there and she found a couple of nice photos.

Stephanie as a freshman (R)

…it just didn’t seem too much like her and I would have had a little work making sure it was she! This is Stephanie as a freshman age 14. It is by far the curliest her hair had ever been as far as I knew. But that is her cute nose and pretty lips! She would have been popular in Costa Mesa even back then! The only year she even 

had a glimmer of a smile was her junior year photo from Mesa High. All the others have really serious looks she is giving the camera.

Her sophomore year as a Lobo (green and gold were the school colors so she must have felt pretty good about coming to Mesa and going to green and white.) at San Ramon Valley High School looks very much more like her. She even has a bit of an Elizabeth Montgomery (Samantha in Bewitched) look to her as well. Wow… I would have been so stuck on her even this year. It is too bad she didn’t arrive for another 11 months.

This is Steph as a sophomore age 15 (L).

Her hairstyle is getting to the wonderful soft Steph look she had at Mesa. Those amazing blue eyes are peering out at us so nicely too!

I feel really lucky to have met her way back then. She has been a nice part of my life and she made my graduation the best graduation I have ever had. I had two in the Army, one in junior college, my bachelor’s graduation and my MA graduation and none come even within a light year of how nice she made my high school graduation.

Stephanie Part Three

My latest update in the saga of Stephanie and I. January 20, 2006. Here it is as I received it in my email.

1/20/06. Dear Barry,

I'm writing to you in regards to Stephanie Shumate. 

 I'm her sister, Sandy.  I'm about to give you some shocking news and I'm so sorry there isn't an easier way to do this.

We lost Stef on August 4.  During a hiking trip, Stef went out on her own early in the 

morning and evidently got too close to the edge of a cliff.  There was a rockslide and she fell several hundred feet to her death. 

The family had moved back to Danville in theand Stef lived with her boyfriend in Berkeley.  She was happy with her life and doing what she loved.  We lost our dad 7 months later in a plane crash so it was a pretty devastating time for our family.

Stef never lived in Chicago so I don't know why someone would have thought that.  I'm surprised that no one at the address you were sending cards to in Chicago ever informed you that you had the wrong information.

Again, I'm sorry for the upsetting news.  We have a couple of newspaper clippings but details are pretty sketchy.  Let me know if you would like copies or have any questions I can try to answer.

Take care, Sandy   

   (hummingbird1@netzero.com)  

And my response that day.

1/20/06. Hi Sandy,

I am so sorry to hear that. She meant a great deal to me…well, you know that if you read the letter I sent. I did and still do love her. Thank you for letting me know. Yes, I would like to see copies if you do not mind…emailing them is fine but mail is OK as well. The address in Chicago came from the class reunion group! I will have to let them know. The vital stats of the state do list her death. I should have checked that before bothering you guys by using the back address! Please forgive my insensitivity. I met and liked your dad very much as well. I am sure that was rough for you all. I am glad I didn’t know until now. I am typing through tears as it is.

Did she go to Berkeley and not UC Davis then? In summer, I talked with her often when she worked at the Cinema and I was sure that she was talking up Davis.

Did she ever have children? I hope she had a happy life. Do you happen to have any photos you can email as well. Just a couple from those last few years… All I have are the ones from high school.

I remember you from Mesa High as well by the way! Before Estancia!!! You were in the band correct? And I saw that Janet also went to Estancia. My brother Jeff went there and she is in one of his yearbooks. Luckily I had seen that Janet married Jim C or this would never have got to you.

I can’t tell you how sad I am but I thank you so much for giving me the information.

Please give my love and very belated condolences to all.

Best wishes, Barry

It was a crushing end to a dream. I always expected to be able to talk to her once more sometime in my life. That will never happen now and may not have anyway. Those things are never as sure as we think they might be.

Sandy and I now write regularly. She has become a dear friend now.

This romance now has reached the proportions of a myth. In actuality we dated a short time and we were very close for a couple of years but then we lost touch and never talked again after the last time at Edwards Cinema. I will never forget her and I hope this little archive helps others remember her as well. Life can be a strange thing…. I had been trying for many years to talk to her and had that Chicago Stephanie Shumate ever answered I may not have ever learned the truth to what happened to Stephanie. Sandy sent me one last photo in February 2006. It is so amazing….it is like looking into Stef’s eyes again.

She really was a gorgeous young woman. I miss her very dearly for so many wonderful reasons. She was my princess.